How to Find the Right Therapist

Why finding the right therapist matters

Research on psychotherapy consistently finds that the relationship between you and your therapist — often called the therapeutic alliance — is one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy helps, alongside the quality of the approach itself. That is good news: you don’t need to find the single perfect therapist, but it is worth taking a little care to find someone qualified, affordable and a reasonable personal fit. This seven-step guide walks through the process, from working out what you want to checking credentials and judging fit in the first few sessions.

If you are in crisis or worried about your immediate safety, don’t wait to find a therapist: see Get Help Now for emergency numbers and crisis lines.

Step 1: Clarify what you’re looking for

Think about what you’d like help with — anxiety, low mood, relationships, trauma, grief, a life change, work stress — and what you hope will be different. You don’t need a diagnosis or perfect wording; “I feel stuck and overwhelmed” is a perfectly good starting point. Also consider any preferences, which can matter more than people expect:

• Gender, age, cultural background, faith, sexual orientation or language you would feel most comfortable with
• Style: practical and directive, or reflective and exploratory
• Specific experience, such as with trauma, ADHD, eating disorders, LGBTQ+ concerns or neurodiversity
• Practicalities such as evening or weekend availability

Step 2: Consider cost and coverage

Cost is one of the main barriers to therapy, so look at it before you start.

• Insurance: check your plan’s provider directory and mental health benefits, including copays, deductibles and the number of sessions covered. Ask whether you need a referral.
• Self-pay: ask therapists about sliding-scale fees; many offer reduced rates for a limited number of clients. Some provide a “superbill” you can submit to your insurer for possible out-of-network reimbursement.
• Low-cost options: community mental health clinics, university training clinics (where supervised trainees see clients at lower cost), employee assistance programs (EAPs) and non-profit counseling centers. See affordable mental health care.

Step 3: Decide on format

Therapy can be in person, by video, by phone or through messaging, and the right mix depends on your needs and circumstances. In-person sessions can feel more connected for some people; video and phone remove travel time and widen your choice of therapist; messaging suits people who find it easier to write than talk. See online therapy for what the research says and who it suits. Online therapy may not be appropriate for people in crisis, with severe symptoms, or who need a higher level of care.

Step 4: Search

Good places to start include:

• Your insurance directory
• Referrals from a doctor, school counselor or someone you trust
• Professional association directories, such as those run by national psychology, counseling and social work bodies
• Online therapy services

Online services can widen your search. BetterHelp matches you with a therapist from a large network, while Sesame lets you browse therapists’ profiles, reviews and prices yourself. Compare more options in our online therapy guide.

Step 5: Check credentials

Look for a licensed professional — for example, a psychologist, licensed professional counselor (LPC), licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) or marriage and family therapist (LMFT). Titles vary by country and state, and “therapist” or “counselor” is not protected everywhere, so check the specific license. You can usually verify licenses through state licensing boards, which also show any disciplinary actions. A therapist who works online should be licensed in the state where you are located during sessions.

Psychiatrists, by contrast, are medical doctors who can prescribe medication; many people see a therapist for talk therapy and a prescriber for medication. See psychotherapy for an overview of approaches.

Step 6: Ask questions

Many therapists offer a free brief consultation call. Useful questions include:

• What experience do you have with concerns like mine?
• What approach do you use (for example CBT or DBT), and what does a typical session look like?
• How will we know if therapy is working, and how often will we review it?
• What are your fees, cancellation policy and how are sessions scheduled?
• How do you handle confidentiality, and what are its limits?
• What happens if I’m struggling between sessions?

Not sure which approach to choose? Our comparison of CBT vs. DBT is a good example of how approaches differ.

Step 7: Give it a few sessions — and trust your judgment

It can take a few sessions to settle in, and the first appointment is often mostly about getting to know each other. Signs of a good fit include feeling listened to and respected, understanding the plan, and feeling able to be honest. Warning signs include feeling judged, dismissed or pressured, a therapist who talks mostly about themselves, or boundary violations of any kind.

If you don’t feel heard or respected after a few sessions, it’s OK to look for someone else. A good therapist will support that choice, and switching is normal — many people try more than one therapist before finding a good match. If a therapist suggests that therapy would work better with a different specialist, treat that as good care rather than rejection.

What if I can’t find anyone?

Waiting lists are common. Ask to be added to a cancellation list, try group therapy or a peer support group in the meantime, or use a service with faster access. Your primary care clinician can be a first step for assessment and may help coordinate care. For specific conditions, see our pages on depression treatment and anxiety treatment.

Quick checklist

1. Know what you want help with and your preferences.
2. Understand your coverage and budget.
3. Choose a format that works for you.
4. Verify the license.
5. Ask questions in a consultation.
6. Review fit after three or four sessions.
7. Switch without guilt if it’s not working.